The Soothing Spot Discomfort
by SergeantFuzzyBoots
Summary: Only one thing seems to be able to stop Leonard and Penny's child from crying, and Sheldon is not pleased by it. Pairings: Leonard/Penny, mention of Shamy.


**Just a small one-shot idea that came about during a dicussion in the Leonard/Penny thread at FanForum.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and no one except Chloe.**

Penny rocked the small infant in her arms, the soothing motion made somewhat awkward as she hurried across the hall. If Leonard explaining Einstein's theory of relativity to Penny could be heard by the occupants in 3B, then the shrill cries of their three month old would certainly be noticed. The new mother figured she'd try and evade those neighbours' potential complaints by staying in 4A and giving Mrs. Gunderson a taste of the baby's wails for a while.

As she shifted Chloe in her arms in order to unlock the door, the baby's cries intensified. "I know, I know," Penny sighed. That was a lie. She had no idea what was wrong. She'd tried feeding her, burping her, rocking her, singing to her (which Sheldon would probably say did more harm than good), but nothing had calmed the child.

Unfortunately, the change in scenery turned out not to be the magic fix for the baby's crying. Penny tried walking her around the apartment, pointing out Sheldon's board and the various collectibles she actually knew the names of. She suggested that they go lie down in "Daddy's old room", but that did nothing to soothe her daughter either.

"Sweetie, I don't know what's wrong," she sighed, though it sounded more like a groan. Penny was near tears herself at this point. She was tired, usually able to nap along with Chloe for an hour or so in the afternoon, but that ship seemed to have sailed today. She was also frustrated, as she kept almost saying, "I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong", a mistake that only made her feel helpless and stupid.

Exhaustion pulled her toward the couch and she sank into it, closing her eyes and rubbing her daughter's back. The waitress tipped her head back, making shushing noises even though the sound hadn't worked for the past few hours. In fact, so long had the crying been going on, that it took Penny a few moments to notice it had stopped.

The blonde opened her eyes, tipping her chin down to her chest in order to see her daughter better. The child's mouth had closed, no longer stretched wide and unleashing her wails of discomfort. She was inhaling and exhaling calmly, and her eyelids were beginning to droop sleepily.

Penny took a moment to let the image sink in, wanting to make certain that her baby had in fact stopped screaming and she wasn't simply going crazy, merely seeing what she wanted to see. It very quickly became clear that this couldn't be the case because she soon noticed something that she didn't want to see at all.

They were sitting in Sheldon's spot.

The waitress bit her lip, glancing at the empty cushion directly to her right. She should move; Leonard and Sheldon would be home within the hour and then she'd be ordered out of her seat anyway. However, Chloe had only just calmed down and Penny was afraid that any movements she made now would disturb the baby and send her into another fit of wails. On the other hand, Sheldon would probably go on a rant when he came home and found them in his spot, and if Chloe was anything like her mother, then she'd definitely put up a fuss when her Uncle Shelly began speaking.

Moving her free hand to rest on the back of Chloe's head so she was secure against her chest, Penny slowly and carefully began to inch out of Sheldon's spot. She was about half way off the cushion before the baby began wriggling in her arms, accompanying her struggles with whines of protests.

Penny allowed herself to groan along with her daughter as she finished transitioning to the middle cushion. "I know," she sighed, reluctantly beginning her attempts to soothe Chloe again. "But that's Uncle Sheldon's spot."

The baby's cries only intensified at this reasoning. "Yeah," Penny agreed. "I told him the same thing."

Commiserating with Chloe was fun for a few short moments, but her exhaustion and frustration quickly seeped back in as her daughter's only responses were to increase the decibel level of her cries every time Penny tried to jokingly act as if they were having a conversation. So they were back to square one, with nothing contenting the child. Except ...

Penny glanced over at Sheldon's spot, raising an eyebrow slightly. It had to be a coincidence. It had probably just been the change in position as she'd moved from a standing to sitting. It had nothing to do with the location itself and its ideal air flow and social conditions; Chloe didn't understand any of that.

But it couldn't hurt just to check.

Going slowly once again, Penny crossed back over to the left side of the couch, watching her daughter intently as she did so. It was a matter of seconds before the three month old stopped crying. The blonde stared at the infant incredulously. No way.

The waitress tried again, leaning toward middle of the couch and away from Sheldon's zero, zero, zero, zero, met almost immediately by her daughter's sounds of discontent.

"Holy crap on a cracker," she mouthed, returning to Sheldon's (and now apparently Chloe's) spot. "Oh, baby, you little rebel," Penny sighed. She tipped her head back and closed her eyes. Maybe Chloe was turning out to be a little too much like her mother.

* * *

The sound of the turning doorknob caused Penny's eyes to flutter open, awakening her from the nap she'd finally been able to have. Chloe was still cradled against her chest, having remained peaceful for the last hour sitting in Sheldon's spot.

A wide grin came across Leonard's face when he saw the two of them on the couch. "There's Daddy's little girl!" He kissed the top of Chloe's head upon reaching them before sinking down on the middle cushion. "Having a nap?" he noted, placing a hand on Penny's knee.

"In my spot," Sheldon added before his neighbour could reply. His arms folded across his chest as he stared at the mother daughter duo expectantly, waiting for an explanation.

"Okay, I know this is your spot," Penny said defensively. "But we have to sit here."

"_I_ have to sit there," the theoretical physicist argued. "What you and your progeny have to do is find yourselves anywhere but there in the next five seconds."

"But, Sheldon –"

"One!"

"Anywhere else I move, she cries!"

"Two!"

"If you would just let her sleep here for another hour or so –"

"Three!"

"Oh, for God's sake!" Penny grumbled, rising from the left side of the couch and moving out of the way so Sheldon could take advantage of its newfound vacancy.

However, the theoretical physicist's pleasure over regaining his spot didn't last for long. Hardly a minute later, Chloe came to notice her change in location and began making her unhappiness very clearly known. Sheldon fidgeted in his seat, eyes widening – the left one twitching occasionally – as the infant screamed.

"Has she been crying like that all day?" Leonard asked. He attempted to help in soothing their daughter when Penny nodded, but the child only began squirming when her back was rubbed and her hair was stroked.

Sheldon remained in his spot while they did this, growing increasingly uncomfortable. This was his spot; those were the rules. Chloe would just have to learn that. It was the right thing to do staying where he was; if he let her have this seat now then the game was lost. Penny already had to sit there in order for Chloe to, but it would progress. Soon Leonard would start sitting there. Word would spread. Then everyone would want in on the action. He couldn't let that happen.

But dear Lord, that crying!

Worse than Leonard's depressed singing; worse than if cats could sing; worse than Penny's singing. Well, Chloe would certainly be discouraged from singing if her Uncle Sheldon had anything to say about it, if her cries were already enough to make him bleed from his ears.

But it was no matter. He would push through. He would stand by his spot until his dying day.

Half a minute went by. "Oh, just let her sit there!" Sheldon snapped, huffily removing himself from his beloved cushion. "But this is a onetime gesture of my generosity," he said sternly after Penny had sat back down and Chloe's wails had subsided. "Because this is my spot, understand?" he said, leaning closer towards the infant. "Not yours. _Mine_. You need to find your own spot."

"You could look at this in a more positive light," Leonard said thoughtfully. "Another human being seems to be understanding and practicing your ways."

"Huh. See, I thought that was the negative way of looking at it," Penny said.

Sheldon merely scoffed, shaking his head. "Amy understands my ways just fine, and she has the decency not to practice them and ... _sit in my spot_," he said, voice quavering slightly as he finished, looking longingly at where Penny and Chloe now sat. He sighed. "I can't watch," he said, turning away and walking towards the hall. "But!" he said, holding up a hand. "If she urinates while sitting there, I'll jump out that window." And with that, he disappeared around the corner.

"And on that note, it's time for you to nurse, baby girl," Penny said, grinning when Leonard shook his head amusement.

**Review if you feel so inclined! :)**


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